Whether
you are married or about to get married, know that you gain more family
than just a new spouse. They can be your best friends or your worst
enemies. Who could they be? Your in-law of course! Usually, it is in
your best interest to make sure they are happy with you.
Getting to make your in-laws to love you is a tricky
situation that must be handled with care. Just one mistake and you could
bungle the whole process and find yourself on the wrong side of their
emotions.
So, how can you warm your way into their hearts?
Discuss with your spouse
Engage your spouse in a talk that will shed more
light on your in-laws. Make sure you are informed of traditions and
expectations that are important to your new family. Creating a
visitation plan will reduce the chances of hurting their feelings.
Be open minded
With a new family comes new traditions, so be willing
to learn and try new things. Even if you have never opened up a present
on Christmas Eve, do it if your new mother-in-law urges you. Being
flexible to change will make time spent with your new family more
enjoyable for everyone.
Offer to help
Always offer to assist when necessary. If everyone is
making efforts to set up a birthday party, find a way to help.
Participating in things that are important to your in-laws will cause
them to appreciate you.
Be yourself
No one expects you to suddenly act differently. If
the family loves karaoke whilst you suffer from stage fright, don’t
condemn the activity. Instead, encourage them by clapping whilst you
watch from an acceptable distance that won’t be considered offensive.
Be good to their kids
One of the best things you can do to make your
in-laws happy is to treat their children well. Don’t do things that you
know will hurt their children. The most important thing to a parent is
to know that their children are well taken care of. If you do that, you
just may have won most of the battle. You may not have to do anything
else to make your in-laws happy.
Buy them gifts
You don’t have to break a bank to buy them expensive
gifts. You can get them fruits or send birthday or anniversary cards as
often as there are any. Your in-laws will think of you as being
thoughtful and that will make them happy.
Listen to them
Your in-laws have been there and done that, when they
were of your age. The tips they give are out of sheer experience and
with a motive to help you tackle a situation. Listen to them,
irrespective of whether or not you follow their advice later. Just
listening to them, saves you from earning the tag of being
disrespectful.
Accept them as they are
Remember, it is tough to get people to change
attitudes and opinions at your in-laws age. It’s easier however, to
change your reactions to things instead. Compromising with them at
times, instead of criticizing, can go a long way in helping you maintain
a healthy relationship.
Communicate with them regularly
If you and your in-laws live separately, ensure you
meet them now and then, or else, catch up with them through frequent
phone calls frequently. Frequent communication helps in creating great
in-law bonding.
Attend family functions
Try and be present at your spouse’s family functions
like birthdays, marriages and re-unions. When possible, you should take
your children along too. These occasions will not only help you know
your partner’s extended family, but will also make your in-laws feel
that you care for them and enjoy the company of their family members.
Speak positive about your partner in front of your in-laws
Don’t bad mouth your spouse in front of your in-laws.
No parent likes to hear unpleasant things about their children, you as a
parent included. Therefore , avoid saying anything negative about your
partner.
Stay out of arguments between your partner and your in-laws
It’s best to stay out of arguments and let your
partner handle his family his own way. If you try to interfere and take
sides, you will stand to lose either way; you will end up straining your
relationship either with your husband or your in-laws.
Don’t involve your partner in your tiffs with your in-laws
No matter how much you try, once in a while you are
bound to be in a tiff with your in-laws. Keep your partner out of this
situation, as it is going to be difficult for him to take sides too.
Instead, cool down and try and solve the problem amicably yourself.
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